I almost quit my job today....

I've almost quit my boutique 100 times this year. Being an entrepreneur is hard y'all. I mean HARD. Mentally, emotionally, physically hard. There's lots of research to show it- google it. You have some really great days and some really bad days. 

For the majority of the last year and a half, I've had to put the store on the back burner. I was soooooooooo sick while I was pregnant with Madison taking and picking up Anderson from school was quite literally all I could do for weeks. And the rest of the time wasn't a too much easier. Since having her and adjusting to life with 3 it has been a constant battle to get back to wear I was. And I'm still FAR from it. 

I need to work, I need a paycheck. Some people would be ashamed or feel like people would look down on their spouse for saying that. I'm not. My husband is a badass and I would argue to my last breath that he is more amazing than yours. {sorry, not sorry} He transitioned from a very well paying gig that kept him gone all the time to a gig that keeps him home but it was a pay cut. He LOVES what he does and he's damn good at it so I have no problem with it. {That may be way too much personal information for some of you but I'm being 100% real here so you can understand this story.} 

Anyway.....there are perks to my job- I get to be there for my kids and be their steady. And there are cons- hello non-guaranteed paycheck even when you work your tail off. While I heard God LOUD AND CLEAR when I fist opened and then again when my husband transitioned jobs, lately I've been in an all around funk and debating the direction I need to go in. I've felt like I'm spinning my wheels, that people just want cheap crap and not what I'm giving them, that I have no clue what I'm doing and I just need to transition. 

So I sat down and opened my computer to type up all of my skills. I've developed A LOT over the last 4 years...from brand planning and marketing to changing the oil on a generator....ha! And while the tears poured down my face, I called out one last time. "God, I need your help. I just don't know what to do anymore." And my phone went off. 

"Hey girl, can I come over tomorrow about 11 to shop? I'm going to bring my mom with me." 

Answered. 

 

Why am I telling y'all this? Because He told me to. Because I'm trying to be real. I don't have it all together. I struggle. I put on a brave face, but I struggle just like everyone else. Because I don't know who needs to hear this story today, but He told me someone does. Because I think He's trying to teach me it's ok to ask for help. Because God has blessed me with this platform and I can use it to help people or I can pretend like my life is perfect. 

 

God has a perfect plan for each of us. And sometimes it's easy to question if we're on the right path or not. It's so easy to worry and try to fix it ourselves. But He is also the Great Provider and He gets things done for us. I'm very publicly giving this over to Him. It's been His since the beginning but I'm going to quit questioning it because it's not where I want it to be.  

So sweet friends......there ya have it. I don't know how to wrap this up. I'm not good at being vulnerable. Life is hard. If this resonated with you share it, because someone else needs to hear it too- I promise you. And it is probably one of the last people you think needs it. 

I have to go get the big little from school so I have no time to proof read this. But I'm going to hit publish before I chicken out. 

 

-Lainey

2 comments

Lisa Winton

No one can understand what it’s like to start, maintain, and grow a business unless you’ve lived it. I get it!! If you ever want to brainstorm or just need someone to listen … I’m here!!!!! Call me

Lisa Winton
Joanna Ortega

Lainey, I think you and I had the same day. I totally had the same conversation with myself and now I know what to do – time to turn it over to the One who knows best for me. Thank you so much for sharing – you are a blessing!

Joanna Ortega

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